Nearly Carjacked

Car Broken Window
Busted Window, you can't see much cause I vacuumed everything.

So today was an exciting day. I almost got my car stolen, carjacked if you will. Katrina and I were in Detroit at a basketball court on Mack and Chrysler in order to finish filming our Moves like Jagger music video. At first things were going well, but then some black kid was walking around us and hovering. At first we were like whatever, but I started getting annoyed when he picked up Katrina’s second basketball and was using it. I should’ve said something then, but hindsight is great. He started hovering around Ellen and our stuff, and while Katrina was being extra cautious and paranoid, I was just focused on getting things done and getting out. But he was just kind of crouching by our bags and stuff and I had stupidly left my keys in my bag instead of keeping them in my pocket. When the kid started walking away suspiciously, Katrina and Jeff started getting a little more paranoid, and wanted to check to make sure all our stuff was there. So as we walked over I realized I couldn’t see my lanyard for my keys, so I started running after the kid in a full-on dead sprint.

Dent on the front of my hood from my jump onto it.

He reached the car slightly before me and had trouble opening it due to the massive amount of keys I have and also probably cause of fear. I managed to reach the car but not before he managed to find his way into it and (I assume) lock the doors. So I jumped onto the hood and realized he might try to shake me off, you know like in the movies, so I grabbed onto the rail on the roof of my car. At this point the car started moving, and he tried to throw me off by reversing really fast, and also turning sharply but I managed to hang on by swinging down to the driver’s side window and lodging myself in the Side-view mirror and side of the car. There was a split second of me wondering if I should break the windshield, but I’m glad I didn’t. I started pounding on the window with my bare hands, using an open palm technique. On the 2nd hit, he got scared and started moving to the passenger’s side seat. On the 3rd hit, I had broken through and glass was flying EVERYWHERE. It was pretty dramatic. He managed to get out as I turned off the car, and I decided to try to get my keys out in case one of his cohorts came out of nowhere to finish the job. He got away, but nothing was stolen and no one was seriously injured. So I would call it an overall win. Plus I got to do some nice stunts.

Apparently I’m told that it’s pretty hard to break through a closed car door window with your bare hands. At the time my cousins were like “I’m impressed how did you do that?!” and I was like ummm…I hit it hard? But my dad came in earlier and was asking me what was going through my mind cause he says the windows are pretty damn robust. Apparently adrenaline + determination is my friend. I feel like if I had known that, I wouldn’t have been able to break through the glass. Or at least hesitated more.

The second dent in the hood when I went up to grab the rail.
The less serious injury

Katrina and I were talking about my feats of heroism after the fact, and we can not for the life of me figure out what I was supporting myself with when I was hanging from the side of the car. I could have sworn that there was a ledge for me to stand on, and I remember seeing one but my Aztek doesn’t have it. I think I may have developed super powers in this encounter and created a ledge temporarily haha. If only right? I sustained some minor abrasions but nothing too serious. Pretty much just got some glass shards that nicked me when I punched through the window. They were bleeding pretty profusely at the time, but they didn’t hurt. And once the bleeding stopped it was fine. As I told Katrina, “It’s just a flesh wound.” I’m pretty happy she got the reference. The primary injury was the sprained wrist I sustained. I assume it’s sprained anyways. Katrina was pretty mad at herself for not grabbing my camcorder and filming the perp stealing my car. She was like “I should’ve filmed him then we would’ve had evidence and maybe his face!” Meanwhile I was distressed that she didnt’ film for an entirely different reason. “Why didn’t you film that?! That was awesome! Youtube hit material! We might’ve been on Tosh.0!” Priorities eh?

The rest of the day was kind of boring, but everything seems so surreal. At the point when I was hanging on the moving car, time just seemed to take forever. I had all the time in the world to plan what I was going to do, but now it seems like forever ago that it happened. It almost seemed like it didn’t happen, but I have these cuts to remind me that it did. I hate to say it, but in retrospect it was fun. Would I do it again? I can’t say, but this experience was definitely a lesson learned type deal.

The more serious of the bleeding injuries.


3 thoughts on “Nearly Carjacked

  1. Note to all the inexperienced, would-be black car-jackers of Detroit:
    Don’t fuck with Asian kids. They’re fucking insane. They have fucking ninja blood in them.

    In other news, it was your Utsu’s that allowed you to not fall from the side mirror, they were absorbing the “shaking” damage, giving you enough time to SA the window. How else would a palm-thrust have worked so efficiently? Unfortunately, by this point, you’d used your last paper doll, and as you had no one else to TA the damage to, you received the hate (and damage) off the glass.

  2. My twin is a superhero, I’m sorry, your secret identity may be compromised. You’re now have to go back into the hero protection program. 😦

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